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A BIT ABOUT: Christopher Brookmyre
by Ewen Storm5/ 5/2005
HIS novel Quite Ugly One Morning was made into a TV drama starring James Nesbitt, now All Games Until Somebody Loses An Eye is in bookshops which is why Christopher Brrokmyre is visiting Waterstone's, Deansgate at 7pm on May 13.
The first thing I do when I wake up is .... Kill
my son Jack, because it's only 5.30am, and tell him it's time to go
to bed.
Ideally I would spend every day ... Reading
somewhere warm and sunny
If money was no object I would ... Allow my wife
to give up her job. She's an anaesthetist in the NHS and it isn't a
lot of fun.
The greatest gift I have ever received was ... My
espresso maker. I don't think I could get on with life without
it.
My one piece of advice would be ...
Acknowledge
yourself when you've got it good.
My first job was ... A summer job working for
Scottish Gas analysing infrared photos for heat loss, so we could
tell which houses needed insulating. That was when I realised
graveyards gave off heat, and the really creepy thing was that
graveyards that had been closed for 20 years were still giving off
heat.
I'm scared of ... Boats. I really don't like
travelling by water.
I'm excited by ... The prospect of Stewart Kean
scoring 12 goals for St Mirren next season.
If I could go back in time and do one thing again it would
be ... Go back to October 1983 when St Mirren came back
from 2-0 down to beat Celtic 4-2, and there were no TV cameras
there.
I love ... My wife.
I hate ... Religion.
I want ... St Mirren to get planning permission
for the deal to sell off their stadium. They're in debt and the
land would be worth about £10m to a supermarket, so they could
build a new stadium up the road.
You have to read ... Anything by Neal Stephenson.
Cryptonomicon would be a good place to start. He started off
writing science fiction, but he now writes these amazing historical
books, tracing the origins of modern science back to the 17th
century.
Everyone should listen to ... Everclear.
You must watch ... South Park. It's still the
funniest thing on TV, and Cartman's still the best TV
character.
If I could be anyone else I would be ... Alan
Moore, the comic writer. He's got a fantastic imagination.
My ultimate ambition would be ... To see a big
budget adaptation of one of my books break the £100m barrier at the
US box office.
My biggest inspiration has been ... My wife.
The first time I fell in love ... Was
enough.
I think God is ... Just pretend.
I think the death penalty is ... The epitome of
wrong.
My epitaph would be ... F**k them if they can't
take a joke.
Fur or faux? Faux off.
Mayonnaise or salad cream? Mayonnaise.
Eastenders or Coronation Street? I'd rather stare
at the wall.
Daily Mail or Guardian? The Guardian, but really
just the Glasgow Herald.
Harry or William? Depends how many bullets I
had.
United or City? St Mirren. But we do have the
distinction of being the only club to sack Alex Ferguson.
Chav or scally? Ned. That's what they've been
called up here for decades. Some people say it's an acronym for
non-educated delinquent but I think that's a bit of revisionist
history.
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